


Realizations

by krk_random



Category: Haikyuu!!, Kagehina - Fandom, anime - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bullying, Canon Gay Relationship, Friendship, Gen, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, No Dialogue, Other, POV Hinata Shouyou, POV Third Person, Post-Time Skip, Real Life, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:14:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28428375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krk_random/pseuds/krk_random
Summary: Hinata suddenly discovers what homophobia is.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 6
Kudos: 57





	Realizations

Hinata had received mean comments before, he had already experienced people looking down on him because of his lack of skills, his height or his bad grades. He had been put down so many times before but he always found a way to help himself back up; he had had friends by his side to make sure of that too. After graduating from high school and after he’d gotten completely comfortable with himself and confident about his volleyball skills, he had stopped paying attention to comments like that altogether.

But he never expected that someone would try to give him a hard time about… his feelings? About what he liked and what he didn’t. He never thought that complete strangers would hate him so much and even try to harm him, and for what? For seeing him kissing the person he loved. He couldn’t even process the situation in his mind; he was utterly lost.

When these boys from his university had come up to him in that empty hallway he’d greeted them with a smile, for he was always friendly and willing to meet new people. But instead of greeting him back they had pushed him against the wall and they’d thrown his backpack on the floor, kicking it as far away as possible after emptying it. And then when he thought that things couldn’t get any more confusing they had started spitting out all sorts of insults and slurs; he didn’t even know what some of the names they called him meant. But it hurt him… it hurt like hell. Because he had no idea why he was being attacked like that, because the forearm against his neck was making it hard for him to breathe and because he was completely scared and confused, unable to say anything back to them.

He’d never felt so… dirty and low before; never felt like what he was feeling was wrong. But what if they were right? What if boys weren’t supposed to love and kiss each other? But nobody had ever told him anything about that before. Or had they? Maybe he just hadn’t noticed because nobody made it obvious enough or maybe he was just too naïve and foolishly happy to pay attention to the details.

After that incident in the campus though, he started looking back to past events. He now realized what all the funny looks him and his boyfriend were getting whenever they walked together were. It wasn’t the fact that they were being silly that was causing all these disapproving looks, it was the fact that they were two boys holding hands. That’s what his senpais meant when they had told him to be careful when he and Kageyama were out together in public. That’s why his little sister was so nervous and was trying to change his mind when he had decided to tell his mother that he loved someone… a male someone. How could he not have realized it sooner? What they were doing wasn’t “normal”, it wasn’t something everyone approved of.

Why did it even matter that he was with a man though? What was so wrong about falling in love with his partner and best friend? Why? Why did people care anyway? He really couldn’t wrap his head around it. He wasn’t causing anyone any harm and he was happy, _actually happy_ about pretty much everything that was going on in his life. So why did these boys suddenly make him feel so horrible about himself and about one of the things he held most dear? What gave them the right to say all these things to him? Was he the one that was wrong?

That night, instead of going to his apartment he went over to Yamaguchi who was practically living next door. He had thrown himself on the couch and before he managed to complete his first sentence about what happened he had just bursted into tears. Yamaguchi had probably figured out what happened before Hinata explained the whole situation, just from the way the boy looked, and he’d thrown his arms around his friend, silently comforting him.

Hinata was hurt; he was filled with anger and frustration and doubt. He was crying because he was mad at the world and mad at himself for doubting his own heart like that. He ended up explaining every detail of what happened to Yamaguchi, in between his tears and despite the fire and pressure he was feeling inside his chest. All the crying made him feel short of breath and talking made it even worse. But he didn’t want to stop, he wanted to let everything out. He couldn’t tell Kageyama, he couldn’t bear to do that. But he could tell his friend, and he did. But halfway through his explanation Yamaguchi had started to silently cry too; Hinata had figured it out by the way the boy was clenching his t-shirt instead of patting his back the way he was doing a few moments ago and by the way his whole body started to tremble.

Was he crying because he felt bad for him? Was he crying because he was angry that there were so many bad people out there?

No.

He was crying because he’d found himself in a similar situation. Tadashi had fallen prey to other people’s cruelty because he was dating someone of the same gender too.

When Hinata realized that, he stopped breathing for a few seconds as the anger grew more inside of him. And then he cried even harder as he tightened his grip around Yamaguchi. He cried for his friend, he cried because he was blaming himself for being so childish and clueless about how the world around him actually worked. It wasn’t just him. There were other people out there that were probably being treated even worse than he was.

No, he had actually gotten very lucky. Everyone around him up to this point loved him and accepted him for who he was without criticizing him for who he was with. That was another realization that added to all the reasons he cried about that night. He was thankful he had all these amazing people around him that supported him no matter what. And he was even more thankful to them because they helped him make up his mind about something right at that moment.

He wasn’t wrong, his feelings weren’t wrong. He knew that now.

The fact that he had so many people supporting his relationship so far meant that his heart was in the right place. He would never doubt that again. How could he have doubted his love for Kageyama? The love he fought so hard to understand, embrace and turn into a beautiful relationship. A relationship that had changed his life to the better.

That night, as he held Tadashi close to him, patting his hair and reassuring him that it would be alright, he made two promises. He promised his friend that he would always be by his side whenever something like that happened again. And he promised himself that he would never let other people’s ignorant words guide his heart and his feelings ever again. 

**Author's Note:**

> .......  
> This is my first Haikyuu related one-shot/ fanfiction. I got this idea out of nowhere while I was doing a Haikyuu role play and I just haaad to write it. I literally dropped everything else I was doing just to write all my thoughts down so I wouldn't lose my inspiration. 
> 
> (I like to think that if anyone treated Hinata like that in the actual Haikyuu universe a whole damn revolution would start, with Bokuto and Kenma in the first line ready to fight everyone)


End file.
